We Steal From Old People: Walkthrough

Sources reviewed: 2026-11-12

Three maps are confirmed. A step-by-step level list is not. This page is the heist loop that the alerts, the patches, and the achievement names actually describe.

How many levels?

The achievement list has “Unlock map 2” at 7.9% and “Unlock map 3” at 1.1%. That is the evidence for at least three maps. No source names map 1, map 2, or map 3. No source counts waves, bosses, or endings. I am not going to invent those names to fill a walkthrough.

One heist, in the order the alerts use

• Start a file and find old people on the street. Left click takes bricks. The counters on the HUD are the scoreboard for that.
• Watch the consignment-safe bar. The alert text is: “Consignment safe unlocked. A new safe is marked on your screen.”
• Expect the next alert: enemies got stronger, old-people numbers increased, and the Weirdos grew stronger to protect them.
• Get to the truck. Players on the discussion board treat “make it to the truck” as the end of a heist. The truck honks after the first patch.
• Dying is part of the loop. Achievements exist for 20, 100, and 1,000 deaths. The thousand-death row is hidden on the public list.

Emperor’s Lair

One Big Sip labels an exhibit “The Emperor’s Lair.” The store screenshot shows the Emperor and the line “Do it!” That is the whole published scene. How you open the lair, what you fight there, and whether it is an ending are not in the notes I could read. The portrait on the homepage card points here because this is the page that says so.

Playtimes on the review page are the only length clue: mostly one to three hours in player posts, with outliers under an hour and one at 4.5. Map 3’s 1.1% unlock rate says most people, two days after launch, have not reached it.